Making Nice

For a few seconds the other day, this idea entered my thoughts: that perhaps I should, in a demonstration of good will, try to make amends, rid my cursed soul of its shame and guilt, and make nice.

(I wonder, though: If I were a guy, would I even think of doing this?)

But here it goes: I vowed to say ten nice things about Sarah Palin. It’s taken some time, but here it is.

1. My mother says she has beautiful eyes (and this, from a hard-core Obama devotee)
2. She has pluck.
3. She is far thicker-skinned than I.
4. She bestowed her children with far more interesting, original names than the standard US
fare. Bristol. Piper. Track. Willow. Trig.
5. She can laugh at herself, even with the volume off.
6. She knows how to charm (not me, but many).
7. She’s breathed new life into phrases that I haven’t heard since I was eight, watching the Andy Griffith show on the tiny black and white. “Betcha” and “doggone it” are destined to become the new “shawty” and “no-bitchassness.”
8. She’s a very good winker.
9. She’s impressively adept at disguising her raw ambition and quest for power in a blinding, display of stylized femininity and folksy ordinariness that has brought new shallowness to the anti-intellectual brigade…oh, gee, I’m starting to sound negative again. Let me try again. She, ah, wears glasses that look like mine! Yeah, that’s it! She has nice glasses!
10. Isn’t nine enough?

I feel so much better.