tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51124364174329109092012-02-16T13:33:49.565-05:00Hi, I am a breast cancer survivor from Oceanic flight 815. I'm also a Rugby Goddess, Captain of Boobies, collector of chestnuts, former banana seat bike rider, home educator, and mother to two boys and two furry girls (not to be confused with my other girls). This blog is my coping mechanism. One of them. Thanks for listening.zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.comBlogger1221100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-37874358386212530692011-08-23T21:25:00.000-04:002011-08-23T21:25:26.990-04:00

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-18411933049354431332011-08-01T14:25:00.000-04:002011-08-01T14:25:39.108-04:00

I want to write.  I want to write everyday.  I've always wanted to write.  When I haven't written for a while, I feel all clogged up, ready to spew, or so bogged down that I can barely drag myself about.  So, why has it been so damn hard to find the time--and take it--to write?  I've realized that I've been waiting, quite foolishly, for those long stretches of quiet time to arrive and buffer me

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-65017787362337636942011-07-29T21:00:00.000-04:002011-07-29T21:00:12.036-04:00

Another one in the works for 2011!   Enjoy!

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-10397847618133925002011-07-29T20:25:00.001-04:002011-07-29T20:48:55.651-04:00

Boobies B.J. (Before Jeannie) We did it!!  WOOT!!  The Blue Footed Boobies got it done!!  Last Friday-Sunday, we blazed through 60 steamy, sweltering, blistering miles, navigated a hazardous heat index, unexpected delays, and logistical minefields, and successfully completed the 2011 Boston 3-Day for the Cure.  It was epic.  Fueled by a constant diet of water, sports drinks, shot blocks,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-24422626295312717632011-02-14T13:39:00.000-05:002011-02-14T13:39:30.962-05:00

Valentine's Day at the Oatmeal Couldn't resist. 

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-54309593655662579382011-02-14T12:08:00.002-05:002011-02-14T13:38:21.501-05:00

Today is Valentine's Day.  Just what does one do with that?? GOT LOVE? I feel very confused and hollowed out by all the marketing frenzy around these holidays.  Blame it on the Dementors. A week or so ago I was shopping at our local mega-supermarket and was drawn down the "seasonal" aisle--you know the one, with its steady rotation of colorfully wrapped candies, novelties and other

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-73536050540323672322011-02-11T15:50:00.000-05:002011-02-11T15:50:31.830-05:00

The Journey by Mary Oliver One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice-- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-54751710868437794532010-09-24T13:48:00.002-04:002010-09-24T13:48:54.838-04:00

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zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-43689407737085671362010-08-02T17:37:00.007-04:002010-08-02T18:45:20.408-04:00

Captain Boobie--Day One Dear Friends and Family and Blue Footed Boobie Fans, Apologies for yet another group email, but I am excited to share with you news about the 3-Day Walk, held last weekend, July 23-25, and update you about how the Boobies are doing, and this seemed the fastest way. You might want to sit back, relax.  This is a long one. After all, I have a lot of people to thank. 

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-60887256864721992502009-12-29T15:31:00.001-05:002009-12-29T15:39:55.557-05:00

It’s that time of year again, when the start of a new year promises to usher in a fresh start—and the chance to shed the residual, cloying Holiday bling and reconnect instead with what you really want. It’s not about what you didn’t get, it’s not about even what you really need, but more about those innermost, deepest, best-for-you wishes that belie any advertising campaign or marketing blitz,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-3960478014714845212009-10-15T12:40:00.011-04:002009-10-17T10:03:13.409-04:00

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. ~George EliotHello again. I have missed you.It doesn’t happen very often, but today I have a day. A day to myself, a day to do or not, a day once threatened by the usual rush ‘n go suddenly come undone to open before me like an unexpected blank canvas awaiting a

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-5434620231605931522009-07-31T11:49:00.066-04:002009-07-31T16:55:32.597-04:00

Herewith photos from the Blue Footed Boobies 3Day Team storming Boston and vicinity! Finally! After hanging out on my iPhone for days, the photos have finally been uploaded, organized, and posted. You'll have to excuse the blurry shots; my iPhone camera does not have a flash (love it anyway), and I have a tremor in my right camera-holding hand that seemed to only get worse over the 3-Day (from

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-77687806612838729642009-07-31T10:19:00.002-04:002009-07-31T10:56:13.126-04:00

Day One/Friday: By the time we began, we were already soaked. Farm Pond in Framingham, site of the Opening Ceremonies, was a mud bowl, and our sneakers were completely and utterly saturated. I’m sure it was normally a lovely spot, but on this morning that had started all too early, with rain that dimmed our view of the surrounding lake and made sodden every step, it seemed dismal. Beyond

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-61833594731739680742009-07-31T10:12:00.002-04:002009-07-31T13:12:28.772-04:00

Dear Blue Footed Boobies Supporters,We did it! Woo-hoo!! I am proud to report that every member of the Blue Footed Boobies 3-Day Team--Ursula, Jeanne, Angie, Damon and yours truly--walked each and every mile of the 60 mile route, gritting out torrential downpours and blustery winds on the first morning, a hot, unflinching sun on the second, and a building humidity that rose in waves from the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-47769535630431866452009-07-21T11:32:00.003-04:002009-07-21T11:36:41.803-04:00

(from left to right) Ursula Nadolny, Liz Gardner, Angie Murphy, Damon Reed, Jeanne Rees Liz is in fruit and sugar’s I Love Boobies! shirt.July 20, 2009 Dear Blue Footed Booby Supporters, Well, we are very nearly there. With just four days (!) to go until Opening Ceremonies on the 24th, the Blue-Foots are gearing up for Boston: packing our gear (including awesome I love Boobies team shirts

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-16764623511561033102009-07-03T12:19:00.003-04:002009-07-03T12:46:17.674-04:00

I suppose one could argue that all this walking is good for more than just my body; that it is good for my brain, too, helping me sort out thoughts, streamline my consciousness, drop into the pensieve all those extraneous memories (oh! that's where they've gone!) and lighten my load. Not that my memory has gotten any better lately (see previous post for ode to post-40 memory loss), but I have

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-89634602386447475102009-07-03T09:35:00.004-04:002009-07-03T09:44:06.343-04:00

I hate it when I forget to take my Tamoxifen. Worse is being unable to remember if I’ve taken it or not. It makes me feel like a demented old hag (or perhaps just a regular old Used Bagge), my brain all crumbly and spent, those bong hits coming back to torment me from my Iron Lungs days. Ha ha, you did kill too many brain cells. So, I pace, I try to reconstruct my day, try to remember

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-44516005269545575422009-05-07T14:00:00.001-04:002009-05-07T14:03:15.962-04:00

Just yesterday, on our way back from lunch out on the town, the boys and I spotted the Barefoot Runner. He was wearing a bright orange vest, an odd apron-styled top that went to just above his knees, blue leggings, and…no sneakers, no socks, just bare feet, which he lifted slowly and gingerly with each step as if he’d been walking on broken glass, crusty pavement, roadside nasties. He carried a

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-55289431616455783962009-04-25T09:55:00.025-04:002009-05-03T18:00:16.330-04:00

Dominick recently informed me that the Blue Footed Boobies might not be the best name for our Breast Cancer 3-Day team. "Mom," he said, "Booby means idiot, did you know that? You named your team the Blue Footed Idiots! You can't name yourselves that!"Hmmm...I will admit, I have felt like an idiot in recent weeks. I have had many Dola-Days, when I had no choice but to smack myself upside the head

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-43576390772935751382009-04-03T16:10:00.004-04:002009-04-04T08:11:48.293-04:00

Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.~Henry David ThoreauApril 3, 2009Dear friends and family,I trust you are all enjoying these first miraculous bursts of springtime sunshine and warmth, and are doing well. It seems amazing and wonderful to me that winter has lovingly loosened its grip so that spring may unravel and unwind before us once again; just

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-78981488783862339762009-02-25T20:40:00.000-05:002009-02-25T20:41:20.651-05:00

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-64729280860314969292009-02-23T19:20:00.005-05:002009-02-23T19:36:38.414-05:00

There’s been a lot of self-vetting going on these days. Perhaps we’ve all been inspired by the more official political vetting process that has flushed out so many ugly oops-I-have-unpaid-taxes skeletons from the dark, forested closets of the appointees, but it seems that the overriding trend these days is to beat everyone to the punch, haul out the bones, dust them off, and hold some kind of

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-41088852701198105342009-02-12T14:49:00.009-05:002009-02-21T09:45:02.915-05:00

Hello out there!I've been remiss in posting; apologies. Life has pulled me in many different directions this winter--doesn't it always? And despite scribbling madly and frequently in the many composition notebooks that inhabit my personal space (bedside table, car, pocketbook), I've been a bit preoccupied and have not quite been able to sweep away the clutter, tune out the distractions, and put

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-19811449812547383762009-01-19T21:01:00.017-05:002009-01-19T21:40:23.467-05:00

It’s been a busy start to the new year: a return to our many homeschooling projects (see above), wilderness programs, basketball practices and games, indoor soccer and wrestling, skiing, art classes, and the re-ignition of the rush-and-go engine, fueled by lots of green tea, visits to my chiropractor and acupuncturist, and flying, ever so gracefully, by the seat of my pants. Christmas brought

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-19133879488075408282009-01-17T13:26:00.004-05:002009-01-18T15:44:19.700-05:00

Elizabeth Gardner is pleased to announce the completion of her new left girl. Hurrah, hurrah! Nearly a year in the making, and several reconstructive surgeries and procedures later, Liz’s rebuilt, freshly and lovingly embellished (ok, scratch-painted) left girl, is healing up well after her most recent adventure. This past Wednesday, she received her tattoo, a lovely mix of rosy colors to

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-22939987911188732662008-12-21T12:34:00.002-05:002008-12-21T12:37:16.851-05:00

Today is a good day to take in the quiet of the snow, forget the aching trials and numbing darkness of the past few weeks, and put it all behind. To hide out, instead, in the shimmer of the fresh snow that has set everything to sparkle, a perfect cloak of white. To dress myself in this enchantment, lose myself in this wintry world, rendered still by the storm, and fall, deep, trusting, into the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-10542462122496801922008-12-12T18:00:00.001-05:002008-12-13T16:18:52.494-05:00

With all the appointments that Obama has to make, this second wave of vetting has really begun to build steam, so I've decided to be pro-active and initiate my very own self-vetting process. If there’s one thing that we’ve all learned from the McCain campaign, it’s that you just never know when you might be selected for a job that is totally and absurdly out of your league, one that flies way,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-41820717558488332262008-12-10T10:30:00.000-05:002008-12-12T18:09:30.274-05:00

Today was the day I was to head into Wellesley for an hour long visit to Dr. Pitts' Tattoo Parlor, but things have worked out differently. Today, I swim in the river, float with the currents that rush downstream, and know that it is, somehow, for the best.Given all the howlers in this morning's horoscope section, it's probably a good thing I wasn't making the long drive in the rain, and going

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-36868293419906886102008-11-29T16:26:00.006-05:002008-11-30T10:27:25.897-05:00

Dear Friends and Family,<?xml:namespace prefix = v /><?xml:namespace prefix = o /><?xml:namespace prefix = w />Well, I’ve finally done it: swept away my fears to mingle and swirl with the collective, elemental dust; crammed my self-doubts into a little box, to simper and writhe and suffocate under the weight of newly hammered yes-we-can armor and resolve; ceremoniously tossed over my shoulders,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-72493346735527735842008-11-26T13:28:00.004-05:002008-11-29T16:30:17.844-05:00

For each new morning with its light,For rest and shelter of the night,For health and food, for love and friends,For everything Thy goodness sends.~Ralph Waldo EmersonWhen our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep? ~George CanningAfter spending the last twenty-four hours rushing about, trying to deepen my breath and quell the anxieties that have swelled amidst the sudden onslaught of holiday

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-47772992440476865572008-11-22T10:25:00.005-05:002008-11-22T12:06:48.850-05:00

I hatethis wretched willow soul of mine,patiently enduring, plaited or twistedby other hands.~ Karen BoyleI’ve limped along this week with an acute awareness of my own fallibilities. I have felt vulnerable to these winds of change that have brought back the bitter cold and the sense that there is no turning back, that we’ll just have to run it out, and wait for the flip side of the cycle, for the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-37878673220113705382008-11-13T14:15:00.002-05:002008-11-13T14:24:21.335-05:00

Is there really anything more to say? (thanks, Angie!)

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-20835487949804571452008-11-06T15:28:00.005-05:002008-11-08T09:20:12.655-05:00

Have you felt it, too? That overwhelming sense of relief, that swell of pride, that robust feeling of accomplishment, that up-lifting buoyancy and lightness of joy that makes you want to run around and shout YAHOOO all day? It’s been two days since the election, two days since the people of the US braved long lines, last minute rabid robocalls, and other pathetic, desperate attempts to mislead

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-32298816626047144802008-11-04T10:21:00.015-05:002008-11-08T09:20:25.986-05:00

Election Day is here. It seems like we’ve waited a long forever for this day, our impatience starting to wear a little thin, our eagerness getting the best of us. The metaphoric meanings echoed in this campaign are overwhelming, and it seems the planets and the stars are working overtime to set the stage for this battle not just between McCain and Obama but between “the past and the future,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-80201638700565006212008-10-31T22:02:00.017-04:002008-11-08T09:19:24.184-05:00

We spend the late afternoon getting ready. Luke, our make up artist, transforms Dominick into a zombie just pulled from his earthly grave. We get fake blood all over the bathroom sink. It's fun, this mad scramble of creation and magic, a touch of the theatrical. We've been reading Hamlet, learning about Shakespeare, researching Elizabethan England, drooling over the beautiful British countryside

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-977313504480476322008-10-31T15:11:00.016-04:002008-11-08T09:19:05.717-05:00

As seems to have become the usual pattern in recent years, the week brought gusty winds and just enough rain to strip and let fly any remaining leaves off the trees, rendered bare and spindly and macabre just in time for Halloween. The bitter cold that blasted through this week lingers in the frost of the morning, and yet later today, this last day before November arrives to sink its gritty teeth

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-68858071069540929412008-10-23T16:47:00.039-04:002008-11-07T21:30:33.060-05:00

One night not too long ago, we got out the sparklers and Dominick painted light scapes onto the pitch black canvas of the night sky. This time of year, when the dark arrives to snuff out the sun earlier and earlier each afternoon, we have to work harder to catch the sunshine before it dips below the hills in a fiery exit. The change is so dramatic and quick that you can almost feel the earth

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-66133429986106749722008-10-17T19:34:00.006-04:002008-11-08T08:38:15.232-05:00

It’s Thursday, and the rain has cast a damp chill about the air outside and in the house and I find myself longing for the warm festivity of yesterday, when the sun shone bright and set the world ablaze with a parade of colors that I wanted to bottle and save for later, when I might release the poplar yellows and fiery reds and oranges of the sugar and swamp maples into the monochromatic, steel

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-16062965562696376392008-10-14T09:56:00.005-04:002008-11-07T21:21:30.031-05:00

It's mid-morning, and already my stomach is tied up in serpentine knots of anxiety. Of course, the five or so cups of green tea have only added to the buzz that has gripped my central nervous system, and now I'm worried much less about sneezing during surgery than having to go pee. Sorry, Dr. Pitts, but hold that stitch! The green tea is talking! I have no doubts that she is as skilled with the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-8668084060702916842008-10-13T20:01:00.004-04:002008-11-07T21:22:09.354-05:00

Tomorrow I’ll get my new nipple. After spending these past months getting used to a new left girl, she will once again be instantly and permanently transformed into something even newer, and stranger still. I have doubts as to whether or not she, or I, will be better for it, but I’m scheduled for surgery at 1:50, I’m in the books, on the schedule, and have already paid my co-pay of $250 (a fairly

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-58896238370688038252008-10-10T14:42:00.004-04:002008-11-07T21:31:05.769-05:00

Friday, October 10Harrold, our GPS Viking Queen, obviously confused by all the recent re-maneuvering of Boston roadways and infrastructure by the way she keeps blasting out directions in Norwegian, sends me spinning my tires in search of Mass General, and in particular, the parking garage for the Wang Building. She tells me to Sink Peter, whoever Peter is, then Sink Venstre. But there is no turn

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-971094533217485242008-10-07T08:47:00.004-04:002008-11-08T09:20:44.693-05:00

For a few seconds the other day, this idea entered my thoughts: that perhaps I should, in a demonstration of good will, try to make amends, rid my cursed soul of its shame and guilt, and make nice.(I wonder, though: If I were a guy, would I even think of doing this?)But here it goes: I vowed to say ten nice things about Sarah Palin. It’s taken some time, but here it is.1. My mother says she has

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-22159870090900516592008-10-05T20:39:00.008-04:002008-11-07T21:23:38.273-05:00

Wow, did I get slammed for my bit about Palin and the banned books scenario. I've been sufficiently slapped upside the head, scolded like a bad girl, and read the riot act and so, have deleted the whole damn thing. This blog was never supposed to be anything that brought more stress into my life; to the contrary, it was meant to help me handle and process the mess that was coming my way, and

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-29600257132669752532008-10-04T17:19:00.005-04:002008-11-08T09:22:18.863-05:00

Next week, I’ll have my first mammogram since my surgeries, and visit with my breast surgeon at Mass General to review the results. The possibility of recurrence has begun to seep into the forefront of my consciousness from the back vaults of my memory bank where I have tried to keep the fear at bay these past months, the dark, deep wells of terror rising up bit by bit to turn my brightly-colored

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-51587956000621486432008-10-04T16:46:00.007-04:002008-11-08T09:21:41.101-05:00

“Each of us puts in one little stone, and then you get a great mosaic at the end.”--Alice PaulThis election season, still rife with the stench of McCain's scurrilous choice of Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate, has stirred up a lot of things for me. Shock. Frustration. Rage. Fear. Sadness. Confusion. Gratitude.Initially, McCain’s choice sent me into a bit of shock. His insistence

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-67400717538663174682008-09-17T16:41:00.004-04:002008-11-07T21:32:13.051-05:00

Digitally enhanced breasts? Do they really do that? (Duh, of course they do, they do everything). Sometime during this past summer, I read a story regarding Keira Knightley, the lovely actress of Pirates of the Caribbean fame (and the little gem Bend it Like Beckham), and her alleged refusal to have her “small” breasts digitally enhanced for promotional photos for her new movie, “Duchess.” There’

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-51203113602286574092008-09-04T21:12:00.005-04:002008-11-07T21:33:08.042-05:00

“We must realize and be ever conscious of the fact that life is fugacious and ephemeral.” ~ Bobson GbinijeThere were plenty of distractions to keep me from worrying and wondering about summer’s crop of uncertainties-- the sudden unnerving disruption to my menstrual cycle, the ceaseless hot flashes, the chronic anxiety about how best to live my life, make the right changes and choices, take care

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-54697034948024519642008-09-02T18:18:00.002-04:002008-11-08T08:35:51.744-05:00

God be with the mother. As she carried her child may she carry her soul. As her child was born, may she give birth and life and form to her own, higher truth. As she nourished and protected her child, may she nourish and protect her inner life and her independence. For her soul shall be her most painful birth, her most difficult child and the dearest sister to her other children. Amen. ~Michael

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-35414963606907264612008-09-01T15:01:00.005-04:002008-11-08T08:37:15.486-05:00

Yes, it’s true, at the last little music fest we went to this summer, a wonderful night of hilarity and good fun at the annual, most excellent Transperformance show (where local bands transperform as other bands within the context of a theme--this year's: Letters and Numbers, so we got to see U2, the Jackson 5, B-52's, KD Lang, XTC, X, ELO, P-Funk, and T. Rex) put on by Northampton’s Arts Council

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-69845966073888903182008-08-30T16:11:00.008-04:002008-11-08T09:22:54.122-05:00

“I get goose bumps when I think about the election. It’s so nerve-wracking, because it’s my future, and I want it to be good.” ~ DominickThe monthly dark of the moon cycle, that short period of time filled with the strange forces of unsettled energies just before the New Moon, and its cresting, refreshing energy, appears, has brought some discomfiting news this morning.John McCain has chosen

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-1427885325836586872008-08-29T20:44:00.004-04:002008-11-08T08:36:28.966-05:00

“Live in each seasonas it passes;breathe the air,drink the drink,taste the fruit,and resign yourself tothe influences of each.”~ Henry David ThoreauThere’s a certain mournful indolence to these waning days of summer. I just don’t want it to end, so I purposely slog along, wallowing in all the lovely sunshine and breathing in the crisp morning air that has graced our days, storing up, shoring up,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-1934977398075929672008-08-07T11:09:00.006-04:002008-11-08T08:38:57.705-05:00

I've decided to postpone getting my new nipple. Originally scheduled for August 19, the procedure will now take place on October 14, which also happens to be my birthday. I did not engineer it to fall on such an illustrious day (haha); October 14th just happened to be the next available every-other-Tuesday that Dr. Pitts had open in the OR. What prompted my decision, you ask? No, believe it or

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-22941896341924451612008-07-26T15:53:00.005-04:002008-11-08T08:41:12.151-05:00

Thursday, July 24It’s raining. Not men, not cats and dogs, just those fat, tinny, acid drops of wet that fall endlessly and hopelessly to go splat and stream down the windows and soak and spongify the green grass and splatter mud all over the vegetables. The raspberries are drenched, the driveway has run off into the lawn, and the constant downpours have cast a bleak shadow over everyone’s moods.

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-65540439071116465452008-07-15T15:44:00.010-04:002008-11-08T08:41:55.663-05:00

My days teem with the urgency of the constant demands of the overflowing berry crops, must pick, must pick, and the shortening of summer days, which spill from one to the other so quickly that I scramble to grasp a moment that feels like mine. For so long, I have measured out my days by remaining jail time, days left before my next procedure or doctor's appointment, that I have to really strive

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-52694057923700789382008-07-08T12:31:00.007-04:002008-11-08T08:44:50.541-05:00

I haven’t written in a while. It seems I haven’t had anything cohesive to say, just bits and bones here and there. I’ve been feeling a little emptied, spent, wrung out, done. I didn't anticipate this funk, this stark bummer of blues and blahs that has been sinking my ship since my last surgery, to stick around for so long. I suppose I've misplaced my good cheer for the time being, and shouldn't

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-79114487465333554492008-07-01T16:59:00.003-04:002008-11-08T08:45:31.138-05:00

Life’s an unsolved mystery. Those who solve it, don’t talk about it. Those who don’t, talk a lot. ~ Yogi tea bagHuh?It seems that everywhere we turn these days someone’s trying to give us free advice—the Tarot card lady on the corner, the stranger in the coffee shop, the pushy librarian, the whacked out drunk walking the street, shouting obscenities. In addition to all the unwelcome advances on

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-23579570603310128242008-06-27T10:51:00.006-04:002008-11-08T08:47:06.847-05:00

Wednesday ~A buck visited Dominick in the tent early this morning, when the dog stirred, waking Dominick in time to see the stately antlers silhouetted in the crepuscular light and the smudge of his wet nose on the outside flap of the tent.Later in the morning, my mother and I drive Dominick to his At Home in the Woods camp, where he’ll make a medicine wheel, carve a throwing stick (just in case

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-1263228529641958722008-06-25T20:56:00.002-04:002008-06-25T21:03:33.091-04:00

Happy Birthday to my dear old Dad today, who is off sailing the coast of Maine with some old college buddies. Wherever you are, Dad, I hope the fog has lifted, the wind is filling your sails with excitement and speed, and the sun has come out to set the water asparkle and the sky ablaze with color. I love you!

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-87407435448663230252008-06-24T10:42:00.006-04:002008-11-08T08:47:31.639-05:00

Ever had a colonoscopy? You might think it a subject better suited for the Flip Side of Fifty, but here’s a story I’d like to share about an old rugby friend who, at the age of 44, started to have a few minor digestive disruptions and decided, wisely, to have them checked out. A colonoscopy discovered colon cancer in its earliest stages, and Emmy was able to get immediate treatment and come out

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-87712857146900671332008-06-22T16:16:00.003-04:002008-11-08T08:48:29.793-05:00

There is a way that nature speaks, that land speaks. Most of the time we are simply not patient enough, quiet enough, to pay attention to the story. ~ Linda HoganWe spend Sunday morning surrounded by the snap, snap, snap of strawberries being plucked by stem from vine, over and over, the sound crisp and clear in the air that hangs thick with river fog and the sweet scent of strawberries. The

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-71003151316266470082008-06-19T20:25:00.003-04:002008-12-10T09:50:56.496-05:00

The path of life is the present.I wake up with a mission: to jump-start the long, critical process of detoxing my body, regain my sense of balance, stop hallucinating, empty my bladder fully, restore functionality to my digestive system, get rid of the chemical taste in my mouth so I can actually enjoy food again, and get acquainted with my new girl.First task: Get rid of the patch! After

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-57514517655012235792008-06-18T13:23:00.004-04:002008-12-10T09:50:56.657-05:00

It’s Monday afternoon. My mother and I arrive at the Newton Marriott, same hotel as before, but a decidedly different room. I instantly feel the associative energy from being there the night before my mastectomy. Dread. Anticipation. Loneliness. Courage.There is no view of the river this time, just the empty end of the parking lot, where a lone cop, his car parked under the trees, sleeps off his

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-57592723228921479632008-06-16T08:25:00.011-04:002008-12-10T09:50:56.868-05:00

It's Monday morning, the day before my next surgery. Jim has gone to work, another day, another day. The boys and I are scavenging breakfast, getting ready to head next door to pick a load of strawberries to freeze for color and sustenance during the bleak winter months. Somehow, amidst continuing our homeschooling projects, picking, washing, and hulling fourteen pounds of strawberries for the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-90640544016129052922008-06-13T16:19:00.009-04:002008-11-08T08:51:18.163-05:00

My poor chemical-laden dog Daisy is sleeping off her nasty meds in the shade; she's suffering, slightly, at least until a ball or frisbee appears, through her latest application of Advantix, that cursed, blessed combination of toxic gunk that keeps the fleas and ticks away but leaves her wondering why she feels like hell. I know how she feels. I have been aware that my next surgery, when I'll

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-32725573005307058562008-06-10T20:34:00.003-04:002008-12-10T09:50:57.843-05:00

We've had so many great bike rides these past few weeks, that it's hard to imagine why I ever sold my racing bike. I've even unearthed my old biking shorts--the ones with the padded crotch--and though the padding has worn thin, a few holes have sprung in the buttocks, and the belly is stretched out enough to fit a woman four times as wide as me, they remind me of taking to the roads in

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-56219142383464351102008-06-05T12:45:00.013-04:002008-11-08T08:58:33.574-05:00

Wednesday into Friday ~"A warrior must only take care that (her) spirit is not broken."We saw a polar bear today. And you know, that's not something that I can say everyday. There were other unexpected delights to the day, too: watching a way cool spiny soft shell turtle move its head in and out of its shell as it followed us along the side of its glass enclosure; singing "What is love? Baby,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-11270072511024258922008-06-02T12:07:00.003-04:002008-11-08T08:53:32.208-05:00

Two years ago, every three minutes a woman in the United States was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now, a woman in the US receives this blunt diagnosis every two minutes. In 2006, an estimated 212,920 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed, along with 61,980 new cases of non-invasive breast cancer. And 43,000 women are expected to die this year from this disease. Breast

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-56276583260462952452008-05-27T21:52:00.004-04:002008-11-08T08:55:01.179-05:00

The human mind always makes progress, but it is a progress in spirals. ~ Madame De StaelThe indefatigable springtime bustle continues, though the passing of Memorial Day just yesterday--with its ceremonial, marathon yard sales, graduations, picnics, and parades heralding the unofficial start of summer--may have popped the bubble, ushering in the promise (and we all know that promises are meant to

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-89602914529995640732008-05-23T10:11:00.005-04:002008-11-08T08:55:47.318-05:00

No mockery in the world ever sounds to me as hollow as that of being told to cultivate happiness...Happiness is not a potato, to be planted in mould, and tilled with manure. ~ Charlotte BrontePerhaps its just because its Friday, the end of a long week, and Dominick has been sick in bed for much of it, and Luke in and out, and I've been dashing up and down the stairs and bedrooms between boys to

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-79764388504837857822008-05-20T20:35:00.005-04:002008-11-08T08:56:13.740-05:00

I don't always want to write about my girls. Or about my angst. Or...Today, I give a shout out to Red Sox pitcher John Lester, who gave hope to all of us cancer survivors with his no-hitter last night. As well, my heart goes out to Ted Kennedy and his family, for the ache they must feel to have just received his diagnosis of brain cancer. If there's anybody who can flip what will most likely be a

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-19135400174067416082008-05-15T12:45:00.008-04:002008-11-08T08:57:16.502-05:00

For those of you keeping tabs on the reconstruction process, my left girl, now 60 ml. more full of saline since my most recent expansion on Wednesday, is now precariously and fully stretched to the max, making it feel and look massive (I know, I know, you chuckle...this coming from a woman whose only brush with mega-boobs was during six years of nursing babies and toddlers). Not only is she

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-51532153722324501422008-05-15T12:30:00.001-04:002008-11-08T08:58:04.357-05:00

The moment of change is the only poem. ~ Adrienne RichDear family and friends,I write to you today with apologies for not being in direct touch for awhile (the blog doesn’t quite count, I know, and I am sorry), and with hopes that you’ve all been well, taking the time to enjoy some of the finer offerings of the season: the slow, unraveling reveal of the fiddleheads, the rising sun set against the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-29778857756061697662008-05-10T12:47:00.005-04:002008-11-08T08:58:59.549-05:00

Last Saturday ~I started Tamoxifen this morning. It took me a while--two weeks, to be exact--from the time I heard from Dr. Ryan, my oncologist, that I could begin the treatment, to shake my Procrastinator, summon the courage, and actually fill the damn prescription. I suppose I was enjoying not having any meds careening through my veins; after all, once started, this will be a five year course

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-88379445020726156062008-05-10T12:36:00.003-04:002008-11-08T08:59:54.936-05:00

Wednesday ~It is not true that life is one damn thing after another—it’s one damn thing over and over. ~ Edna St. Vincent MillayThere’s an odd group of people roaming the country roads of Gill this week. Just yesterday, one of them strolled down our driveway, much to the chagrin of our dog Daisy, who nearly popped her head off barking, before being subdued by this stranger’s crouched, docile

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-78663377694859563602008-05-02T19:05:00.001-04:002008-12-10T09:50:57.992-05:00

Luke, Dom and I made the trip to Dr. Pitts' office in Wellesley on Wednesday for expansion #3 of 4. I seem to have guessed correctly all those weeks ago, when Dr. Pitts said that "normally, it takes a course of 8 expansions" to prepare (stretch) the skin and muscle properly for the exchange surgery, during which time the temporary saline expander is removed and the more permanent silicone implant

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-37826832044922230252008-05-02T18:28:00.001-04:002008-12-10T09:50:58.796-05:00

Tuesday notes ~No where is the acceleration of time more evident than in the riotous springtime revelry that has suddenly taken hold. I returned from my reunion weekend to find a cacophony of color and sound bursting all about--our wetlands brimming with shouts of new life and the bizarre mating calls of amphibians and bird fowl (or, I suppose, it could have been the neighbors); our three young

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-90072810530984494572008-05-01T13:03:00.001-04:002008-12-10T09:51:01.288-05:00

And now, I fancy myself a fiddlehead, unfurling to soak up the dewy morning sunshine, to reveal my full bodied self, raise spirit to sky, and salute my soul...I was never not going to go to my reunion. Not going was never an option. As I sat in Dr. Fox's office back in February, trying to absorb the news of my diagnosis, and the prospect of a year-long dance with endless doctor appointments,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-38991978990445530402008-04-23T20:10:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:05:25.199-05:00

Wednesday ~I was hoping to get my Oncoytpe DX test results back by now, but I have not yet heard back from Dr. Ryan's office. I called Tuesday morning to check in, and they said they would try to track down the results. Mass General is a big place. I am assuming everything is JUST FINE. But boy, it would be nice to hear once and for all, especially before I leave for the weekend, that the

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-54417864348072445782008-04-23T18:29:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:06:25.469-05:00

Marathon Monday ~We’re watching the Boston Marathon. On TV. The day dawned and it was clear that I would not be up for braving the traffic to drive into the city, or anywhere in that suburban jungle along the marathon route, try to find a parking spot, a prime viewing spot, watch the marathon, and then somehow, make our way out of there and back home without losing my head. I felt terrible,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-64992096497475676492008-04-19T08:15:00.003-04:002008-11-08T09:07:11.327-05:00

Saturday ~Today, I wear an old shirt of my grandfather’s. It is pink, with white stripes, crisp, a bit oversized. I am perfectly disguised. In my head, days are spinning about in an endless game show countdown:2 more days until the Boston Marathon. I love the marathon. I love the fact that I don’t have to run the marathon. The boys and I are hoping to drive in to watch this year, unless cold rain

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-7331301433530978342008-04-18T19:52:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:11:02.705-05:00

Friday ~Today was a pretty vigorous day. I know I'm not really supposed to have vigorous days, but sometimes you just can't help it. I didn't intend it that way. It was to be just another Friday, a day when the boys and I would do some catch-up work, maybe take in some sunshine at the picnic table, check ourselves for ticks, that kind of thing. The only thing on our calendar was to take the dog

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-29338097274224762462008-04-17T16:53:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:11:31.050-05:00

Wednesday evening ~After today's expansion, I am truly and undeniably lopsided. It's okay--and it's actually kind of funny--but until I can wear some kind of padded bra to somehow even things out, I'll have to go about my business feeling and looking a bit ridiculous. When my left was still smaller than my right, the lopsidedness didn't feel so strange. But now that my left is larger than my

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-10503370774998137972008-04-15T20:26:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:12:21.371-05:00

She says days go by I'm hypnotizedI'm walking on a wireI close my eyes and fly out of my mindInto the fire~ Shawn ColvinSometimes, the mind is too unsettled to write. Thoughts have been jumping about in my head for days, and forming words and sentences that disappear as quickly as they appear. If I only had Dumbledore’s pensieve, I could unload some of these memories that seem to be clogging my

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-22508599072206591892008-04-11T18:17:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:12:45.930-05:00

Friday ~It's hard to believe that the temperature reached to over 70 degrees yesterday, when I sat out on the deck and took in the sun without nary a thought or concern about being chilled, and today is as different as if I had traveled many hours on a jet airplane to another continent and climate. But this is spring in New England, when things change so rapidly, and the transformation from filth

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-30326923296406250202008-04-10T21:28:00.002-04:002008-11-08T09:13:59.948-05:00

Thursday ~It’s been a long while since I had the time and quiet to sit and write. The week’s been a busy one, and today the boys are off in Vermont, no doubt enjoying the mild sunshine and startling freshness of air that greeted us this morning as we headed out. After spending midday with my visiting nurse (I have been formerly discharged, but will miss my new friend Sara) and occupational

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-27809281624657727282008-04-04T19:33:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:16:10.204-05:00

It’s never too late to become what you might have been. ~ George EliotThursdayThe boys head off to their wilderness program first thing in the morning. The sun is out, quite happily, promising a warm, dry day, and predictably so, given that it was wintry yesterday, and since a pattern has been established this spring, with spring and winter taking turns (one day off, one day on), today is

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-78153315064466976722008-04-02T16:05:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:17:44.813-05:00

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~ Anne BradstreetTuesday The day unfolded in spirals of billowing hope. The anticipatory, strangling fear that has weighed on me melted away like Monday’s wet snow, and ushered in a rapturous feeling of calm contentment in its place. Something opened up,

zilekulmod productionshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03394159441867516278noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5112436417432910909.post-36285288532726026792008-03-31T18:13:00.001-04:002008-11-08T09:23:47.206-05:00

Leave it my sweet-toothed, red meat-fed, milk-swilling husband to be a super sleuth and refute the last post about Johns Hopkins' cancer claims. Thanks, Jim, for setting us straight. For more info, click here: http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/cancerupdate.aspThat said, I personally believe that there's probably some truth to what the bit contained--though of course, I don't eat dairy

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If I took you darlingTo the caverns of my heartWould you light the lamp dear?Would you light the lamp dear?And see fish without eyesBats with their headsHanging down towards the groundWould you still come aroundCome around?~ Laura Veirs, SpelunkingHappy Sunday, sunny afternoon to all. I've decided to focus on the best parts of the day, and leave out the rest (two words: crying jags). The sun

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Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference. ~ Nolan BushnellIt was a long shower. I didn't care much about how much hot water I was using. I didn't rush. I had things to learn, push through, bring back into me.I unravel myself slowly, taking in deep breaths and sideways glances before

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It’s Friday afternoon and I have some things to celebrate. Not in particular order, but here we go:Luke survived his wilderness overnight. I was a bit worried—given that it began snowing last night and continued into the morning and I was feeling cold and wet for him and hoped, hoped that he was warm and dry but knew there was a big possibility that he wasn’t. I am proud of him for putting up

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It’s my mother’s birthday today. I think she almost forgot, given where her head has been lately, and I just want to send a more public shout out to her that she has been an amazing help and source of support and strength for me and I am so grateful for her—for each and every one of her 68 years, since they’ve brought her to this time, this place, here with me. Thank you, Mom. Happy Birthday. I

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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.Lao-TzuIt’s Wednesday morning, and happily, I’m back at home, feeling relieved that this next step is behind me. The surgery went well—no cancer in the lymph nodes (and they had to remove two, since two seemed to be sharing sentinel node duty), and no other surprises or complications--and it seems as if time will continue to heal my wounds

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I had to share this, from my cousin Susan, who always surprises, amuses, and amazes me with her great take on life. Thank you, dear cuz! And thank you, Benja! Your girls look lovely!! It seems we are running out of time for a breast party where we all get to wear construction-paper creations on our fronts. But merely imagining such a party with everybody showing up to flash you their

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BREATHE, BELIEVE, RECEIVE: IT'S ALL HAPPENING.(Thank you Shari and John!)Yep, that's for sure.This morning, the boys have discovered their Lake Champlain and Nirvana Easter chocolates, (mouths are smeared with dark brown caramel sweetness), their March Madness brackets have been updated with the latest scores (no one is faring particularly well this year, but at least they have predicted with

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A newborn baby has only three demands. They are warmth in the arms of its mother, food from her breasts, and security in the knowledge of her presence. Breastfeeding satisfies all three. ~Grantly Dick-ReadI'm nearing the time when I will have to bid adieu to one of my girls, my left breast, a breast that has served me well over the years, never getting in the way, or bouncing up to smack me in

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Say you were split, you were split in fragments and none of the pieces would talk to youwouldn't you want to be who you had beenwell, baby I want that, too--Aimee Mann (from Humpty Dumpty)Sometimes things collide—cars, shopping carts, worlds, energies, planetary alignments, moon cycles, people, expectations, past lives, triggers—and the result can be fantastic, alarming, or catastrophic—or all

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Had a fever last night that came on suddenly (though for a few moments, I wondered if I was having a prolonged hot flash) and sent me into a spiral of self-doubt and fear. My stomach was upset, my chest tight, and I was so tired, that I felt intensely discouraged, wondering what had happened to the resurgence of energy I had felt just the day before. If nothing else, the fever was telling me to

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This time of year, when the Big Melt should have arrived, but has not, we are sun-seekers, moving with the sun and light around the house, from one sunny spot to the next, often sharing space with our fat cat Mischief, who enjoys lying belly-up, light spilling over her winter-coated fluffball of a body. The patches of bright luminescent light are not always big enough for her belly and ours.

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My left breast looks like it's been in a street fight. And lost. The scar--about an inch long--has healed well enough, but all around it, it looks as if the stuffing has been punched out of it (and well, it has), and as a result, the nipple, having lost its symmetrical footing, points downward, harangued, defeated. But let's look at the bright side--at least it's still there. I'm trying to

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